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Doing it for the dads

Doing it for the dads

Dan Flanagan, CEO of Dad La Soul, tells how he’s tackling loneliness in dads and changing the perception of fatherhood, one kick-ass play date at a time

This is a feature from Issue 13 of Charitable Traveller.

WHAT IS DAD LA SOUL?

It’s a social enterprise to support dads. We battle the social isolation and loneliness felt by millions of dads across the UK, and we use art, tech, music and play to do that. We’re made by dads, for dads, and we use our network to produce kick-ass dad-friendly playdates, meet-ups, content and training workshops.

WHERE DID YOU GET THE IDEA FOR DAD LA SOUL?

It came about around six years ago. My son was two and I felt like I was commuting all the time. My own dad had recently passed away and I realised I didn’t want to live the corporate life anymore and miss precious time with my son.

I left my job so I could take a more active role in my son’s life, but couldn’t find anything to support me to do that. I started blogging about the process and that quickly caught fire, before turning into an online magazine and then morphing into a PR company focused on working with brands that wanted to target dads. The narrative around fatherhood was so old-fashioned and rooted in stereotypes from the 1970s, which we wanted to challenge.

At that time, I’d also moved to suburbia and I didn’t know anyone. And as a middle-aged man it’s quite lonely to put your hand up and say, you know what, I’d actually like some friends. So, one Saturday I organised a play date for dads. I put a call out on social media, and about 14 dads and 20 kids turned up, and we had soft play, DJ decks, beatbox battles, and absolutely no plan at all. But it took off, and I realised no one was on their phones, they were all having conversations with each other. And that was five years ago – we now have 2,500 members in eight different countries.

HOW DO YOU HELP DADS?

Basically, the idea is we give dads and kids the chance to play together, and rather than going to a rubbish church hall, we do kickass stuff. We’ve had a stand-up comedian running a dads v kids workshop, nerf wars and bush crafting in the woods, DJ workshops and film workshops.

We’ve also done intergenerational stuff (with a charity called Men in Sheds), bringing in men who used to be builders or carpenters but are now retired and have no outlet. They thought they were coming along to help build bird boxes, but the four-year-olds had other ideas, and before they knew it they were making pink unicorn robots!

As well as the play dates, we run dads-only meet-ups because, as we increasingly know, it can be really tricky to get men to talk and 84 men under the age of 45 are lost to suicide each week in this country.

WHAT IS YOUR IMPACT?

We’ve engaged with more than 10,000 people through our events and of those, over 90 per cent say they’re happy to have met some new friends, 95 per cent are happy to have a safe space to talk to people that can relate, and 91 per cent feel less socially isolated.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE CHANGE IN YOUR AREA?

A quick win would be more changing facilities in men’s toilets! No one wants to have to change their pride and joy on the floor of the men’s.

But the bigger picture is to change the narrative around fatherhood – we are useful, we have an active role to play and we’re not just babysitting our kids. A lot of work needs to be done with brands who say things like ‘These toys are chosen by mums’. Please! We’ve got 50 per cent of this – why isn’t it chosen by parents?

There’s also much more to be done around men’s mental health with long-term investment and support, which is an area we want to branch into some more.

CAN YOU GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE OF HOW YOU’VE HELPED DADS?

We had one guy recently who opened up about his wife having stage four brain cancer and having no one to talk to about it. Another dad was struggling to support his child who was reassigning their own gender. He didn’t want to sound like a bigot by saying the wrong words, and simply wanted to love and support them, but didn’t know how – so we introduced him to one of the GP dads. We’ve also had dads encourage other dads to become more active – swimming in the sea, mountain biking, we cover it all.

What is your biggest challenge?

Money. We’re completely volunteer-led and I work on it in the evenings and weekends so there are lots of opportunities we’re missing out on. Yet for any brands or organisations who want to talk to dads, we’ve got the numbers and we resonate. We’re made by dads for dads so our approach is intrinsically different.

WHAT IS A SOCIAL ENTERPRISE TO YOU?

When we first started running the events a friend said this is one of the most franchisable businesses I’ve ever seen, but I didn’t want that. I’d been in the corporate world for years, making money for companies that had too much money and didn’t do very good things with that money. So I realised I had the power and the ideas to build this wonderful community, and then galvanise it to do some really good things with it.

A personal highlight was our New Year’s Eve party pre-Covid, where we had a 97-year-old granny DJing (the crowd singing Vera Lynn We’ll meet again back to her was unforgettable). We partnered with a charity that supports victims of domestic abuse and sold tickets at an affordable price, on the proviso that everyone brought along an extra present to give to those who would be in temporary accommodation over the Christmas period.

For me, social enterprise is the future of business because we’ve all got a part to play, even if it’s just sticking a tenner in a pot, and you become part of a social movement that sees real intrinsic change happen.

WHAT’S NEXT FOR DAD LA SOUL?

We’re launching in Brighton at a tech innovation centre called Plus X It’s got AI technology, VR maker spaces, and is across the road from one of the most socially deprived housing estates in the southeast. Those communities never set foot in the same areas, so we’re going in as a catalyst to give those families the chance to come and access some really cool technology and talk to others. That’s what it’s all about – talking to people.

Dads together

Find out how you can support Dad La Soul and get involved with its upcoming events, workshops and play dates.

dadlasoul.com

This is a feature from Issue 13 of Charitable Traveller.